Breastfeeding Etiquette

Dear Isabelle,
Momma has made you a list of guidelines for nursing.  I would appreciate it if you would take these into consideration, or Momma will wean you.

1. Do not bite. 
2. When we're in public, do not grab Momma's nursing cover and move your arms about.  Momma does not appreciate it when you try to flash everyone around her.   
3. I am aware that you like to look around when you hear the slightest noise, but it hurts Momma when you suddenly break your latch, so please "nurse gently," and refrain from doing so.   
4. Do.  Not.  Bite.   
5. Regarding breastfeeding acrobatics: Though you may think it's fun to wiggle your little body, roll around, and nurse standing up and upside down, this is not fun for Momma. 
6. Try to focus on nursing, rather than getting your little fingers around Momma's hair, mouth, necklaces, shirt, nose, etc. 
7. You really must find some other way to tell Momma that you want to nurse.  It's just not polite to pull Momma's shirt down in public. 
8. Kneading, scratching, pinching, grabbing, and kicking are just a few more nursing No-No's. 
9. And please, please do not BITE.  Just to show you how serious I am, biting will result in an immediate end to your nursing session. 

Keeping these guidelines in mind, Momma hopes that you enjoy your time nursing, because in a few months you're going to have to share with your little sister!